A Fast-Food Sonnet

1/15/19
(726)

Seven-hundred twenty-six days remain
Until our country’s next inauguration
And still the tantrum shutdown plagues our nation
Eight-hundred thousand workers bear that pain.

While at the White House, Clemson football winners
Are feted by our fast-food fan in-chief
Providing comic photoshop relief
So, let them all eat Happy Meal Dinners.

A trying time of famine and of feast
Of banquets filled with empty calories
Their handy plastic boxes fill our seas
While hungry minds rage on against the beast.

How many ways to shape my little rhymes
To say we live in “interesting times”.

January, 2019

1/1/19
(750)
How sad our Prez chose not to go
Ring the New in at Mar a Lago.
May he sit on the John
Tweeting out until dawn
To reruns of Guy Lombardo.

1/2/19
(749)
The Mitt Romney Wa-Po Op-Ed
Has Trump and his crew seeing red.
Don’t carp and lament
Over Trump’s “Deep Descent”
Just be a “Team Player” instead.

1/3/19
(748)

So once again Pelosi takes the gavel,
And true to form, a woman on a mission.
Now Trump can face a real politician
Who’ll help this bully blowhard’s slow unravel.

New faces, new agendas take the floor
As fear and judgement butt against their hopes.
And may, with grace, they quickly learn the ropes
Then show us what Democracy stands for.

So witness this historic swearing in
Tho’ opposition offers mostly swearing.
Now will our man in charge be quite as daring?
Who cares. Now let the oversight begin.

New chapters open now – good luck to all,
Except on getting funding for that wall.

1/4/19
(747)

His staff is a hemorrhaging mess.
The government’s shut, more or less.
The market is fallin’
Soon, Mueller comes callin’
And this he calls “too much success”.

1/5/19
(746)

As Week Three of The Shutdown Game commences
His Loyal Staffers get a tidy bump
While Furloughed Workers surely root for Trump
Reflecting on the Scope of Consequences.

There’s always money for Collecting Taxes.
But those Food Stamps will prob’ly have to go,
Along with most entitlements. You know,
austerity is such a Noble Practice.

So shut it down for months or even years.
Just sit and hold your breath ‘til we turn blue.
Get Hannity to bark your praise on cue,
And bathe in your supporters’ hollow cheers.

A vigil for the Endgame to begin.
A wall does not protect from rot within.

1/6/19
(745)

This frolicking Socialist teen!
Her video dance is obscene!
If we don’t stop this witch
She’ll be taxing the rich
To pay for the New Deal Green!

1/7/19
(744)

At the Golden Globes people were waitin’.
The winners were cause for debatin’.
Who would steal the scene:
Lady Gaga or Queen,
Or Christian Bale for his Satan.

(bonus sonnet – no extra charge!)
You can’t impeach someone who’s doing great.
You know that you can’t win in 2020.
Most people say that I’ve accomplished plenty.
Who else could match the winning I create.

I’ve stymied trade and turned the market bear
My cabinet is leaking like a sieve
I slipped our former allies all the shiv,
And championed profit over cleaner air.

For dictators and and despots I’m a sucker.
I know that global warming’s not for real.
I’ve lied, insulted, swore & copped a feel
While shocked when being called a “mother-fuxxer”.

Some find my record dubious, but shucks,
I also filled the courts with right-wing schmucks.

1/8/19
(743)

Tonight! Broadcast live from the Oval
The Networks are at Trump’s disposal.
As each falsehood slips
From his gross, pouty lips
I’d rather watch John Bolton yodel.

1/9/19
(742)

About this 5.7, tell us please
On what do you base your priorities.
Is this an act that benefits the most,
Or merely satisfies a campaign boast.

Could not that future debt be better spent,
If sent to bolster steel and cement
Of roads and bridges far within our borders,
Or used to fund the costs of doctors’ orders

To help rebuild our broken middle class.
This crisis rests upon your head you ass.
Objective compromise leads to reform
A leader’s tantrum never is the norm.

A wall, with countless fences left to mend.
This shutdown still is no means to an end.

1/10/19
(741)

As measured compromise sits on the shelf
Two sides dig in. Intractability.
To test the borders of civility
A government at war against itself.

Both sides entrenched for ever-shifting whys
An image of arm wrest’ling politicians
Their public faces mask private ambitions
While consequences stack up to the skies.

Two narratives collide, their truths in contrast.
A crisis or a crisis made for show
The time of post-truth makes it hard to know.
So Chuck and Nancy’s “No” meets exit bombast.

Eight hundred thousand workers in a freeze.
Each one a National
Emergency.

1/11/19
(740)

In the meantime, the suit, Michael Cohen
Will tell Congress what he is knowin’
Of pornstar relations
And Moscow persuasions
While our president’s nose just keeps growin’

1/12/19
(739)

From Iowa, Steve King is good
Praising White Western Ways as he should
But he stoops way too low
And his true colors show
When he gets the white sheet and the hood.

1/13/19
(728)

Hey Trump, if I may be so bold,
Your shutdown is sure getting old.
With this crisis you made
Workers ain’t getting paid
And our National Parks reek of mold.

1/14/19
(727)

How funny that Fake News reporters
See no crisis at all at our borders.
The House passed some Spending
Bills for shutdown ending,
While McConnell just waits for Trump’s orders.

1/15/19
(726)

Seven-hundred twenty-six days remain
Until our country’s next inauguration
And still the tantrum shutdown plagues our nation
Eight-hundred thousand workers bear that pain.

While at the White House, Clemson football winners
Are feted by our fast-food fan in-chief
Providing comic photoshop relief
So, let them all eat Happy Meal Dinners.

A trying time of famine and of feast
Of banquets filled with empty calories
Their handy plastic boxes fill our seas
While hungry minds rage on against the beast.

How many ways to shape my little rhymes
To say we live in “interesting times”.

Merry Christmas from TrumPoetry!

12/25/18
(757)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and at the White House
Everyone was indicted except the Head Louse.
The lights were all out, and the cell phones were gone
In hopes that the Prez wouldn’t tweet from the John.
Ivanka and Jared curled up free from blame,
Though they spent the past year cashing in on their name.
And Mama Melania slept through the racket
Wraped up in her “I Really Don’t Care, Do You?” Jacket.

When the Justice Department erupted with clamor
As they bet on the next one to go to the slammer,
Away went the Congress, with government closed –
Who cares if it’s We the People who get hosed.
The market was dropping like new-fallen snow
Leaving hordes of short-sellers with eyes all aglow,
When what to my year-weary eyes did appear,
But a caravan led by illegal reindeer.
With a little old driver, so fed up and tired
By the end of the year, he would quit or get fired.
Like endangered eagles, they limpingly came
As I wondered who’d be left for Donald to blame.
First Sessions, then Zinke, then Kelly, then Mattis.
Giuliani is staying, but he’d work for gratis.
With Haley’s departure, the U.N.’s in limbo
But she’ll be replaced by some young FOX News bimbo.
It’s a fast-sinking ship – it’s a crumbling wall
So dash away, dash away, dash away all!

I was shaking my head and about to get drunk
Contemplating how low our great country had sunk
When Santa walked in – the old man got grounded.
His reindeer locked up and his sleigh was impounded.
Poor Rudolph got wounded – that ended his schleppin’
When a cop mistook his bright red nose for a weapon.
I saw Santa wince as he clutched at his back
And he grabbed OxyContin from out of his pack.
But still as a trouper, he took to his task
In between taking sips from a Royal Crown flask.
I handed him treats and he emptied the bowl,
In return though, he filled up our stockings with coal.
“You’re welcome” he grunted, and went on to say
“For this you can thank Donald Trump’s EPA.
The North Pole is melting and flooding out folks.
So glad Climate Change is a mere Chinese hoax”.

Then shrugging his shoulders and scratching his head,
He said “Hey, we’re done here, just go back to bed”
Then calling an Uber, he went down the block
With faint hopes of getting his sleigh out of hock.
But as he rode off, I heard Santa wail
“Merry Christmas is a greeting that’s too big to fail!”